Make space for what you really want
The timing was perfect.
Ellie was going to summer camp for three weeks.
For the first week my band was playing at a festival in Mendocino.
For the last week I was traveling for a workshop, also in Mendocino.
Dana, my partner, was traveling for a work conference during most of the second week.
In between all that, I had three days to myself at home.
What do I really want?
As I felt the emptiness of the house, I felt sadness in the absence of people I love but freedom and spaciousness that I myself could inhabit.
I felt the tendency to clean and take care of normal work tasks. But when I considered how quiet it was and how much time I had uninterrupted, I realized I had a bigger opportunity in front of me.
Asking questions to get specific
What is it that I really want right now? “I want free time to organize and write my new book.”
What obligations are keeping me from getting into flow with what I want? “Responding to work emails and daily tasks, cleaning the kitchen, unpacking from camping.”
What is one thing I can do right now to get closer to what I want? “Open up my most recent draft to give it some thought.”
Am I afraid of disappointing anyone by making my personal pursuit a priority? “I feel like people will notice if I don't respond to my emails soon. I'm afraid there's something I'm missing. Did I sign Ellie up for her next summer camp yet? And I don't want my family to be frustrated by a messy house when they get home!”
Applying the tools
Then I used a couple of the tools from the Living in Flow course around living from the heart.
First, I accepted that I might disappoint someone.
I opened myself to the uncomfortable feeling I get when I have disappointed Ellie or Dana. I gave myself permission to not have any excuse nor explain myself. If there's something I missed, I would be receptive to that when the time came.
Second, I centered on what I, and we, stood to gain rather than what I, and we, were going to miss.
I turned my attention to what I would get out of working on the book rather than what I would miss by not handling my emails or having a clean house.
It takes less time than you think
Even after just a few hours I was able to spaciously think about and untangle what I had so far in the draft. Before, the book project had felt so huge and messy, but I came away from this focused time feeling like a weight had been lifted.
Practice
What is it that you really want right now? What would you like to accomplish today, this week, or this month? Use the questions above to identify where you're holding yourself back, and see if it helps you carve out some time for something you really want to do!
Tracking progress in the Course
For students in the Living in Flow Course, this exercise is from Module 6, Authenticity as Flow. Check out segment 2
(If you're not in the Course yet, you can join for free here.)