Living from the heart

This week's topic in the Living in Flow course is living from the heart.

What does that mean exactly? I don't really know.

It seems like it can mean different things in different moments, from person to person. I can offer you some of my recent experiences with it.

Trying a new approach

I have a new practice that has felt transformative for me this month. Living from the heart lately has been about keeping my eye on the prize, not sweating the small stuff.

In practice, that means noticing when minor interactions with people cause me to feel anguish, defeat, anger, or self-loathing but to not act or respond to those emotions right away.

Fill up on the positive

Letting go of these reactions has been easier because of the positive things in my life.

I've had some good things happen this month, like my daughter's theatrical production, her graduation from middle school, and hosting an exchange student. All were wonderful experiences.

The positive nature of these experiences has helped me focus my attention on the goodness I'm receiving, and made it easier for me to release my small frustrations with myself and people.

Filling my cup with the positive experiences also helped me let go of trying to be perfect. I caught myself before criticizing myself for mistakes.

This feels like living from the heart to me. What does living from the heart feel like to you?

My daughter’s graduation

One example of this new practice occurred at my daughter's graduation. Just after the graduation ceremony I became separated from my family in the crowd. I talked to a few friends, and by the time I found my family again they had already taken graduation pictures. I missed out!

I felt disappointed.

I felt the emotion rising. I took a quiet moment, focused on my breath, and asked myself what I wanted to create. I decided to redirect my attention from finding fault to making the next moment great.

And indeed it was! I walked away with good memories and a positive experience. And I got to feel proud of Ellie! (instead of upset)

When I practice this, I find myself holding on to less tension. Note: I'm trying not to bury the negative feelings. Instead, I did share my disappointment at a later time, when I was able to be a little more discerning about what I wanted to say.

Practice

Separating the feeling from the circumstance. You can feel your struggle without identifying with it.

In a situation where you feel tension, name the feeling, but don't interpret it. For example, acknowledge “I feel frustrated and disappointed,” while letting go of the rest, such as “because they were inconsiderate and don’t really care about me.”

Try to fill up your heart cup with positivity, by keeping your eyes on the prize!

Then, once you've filled up on positivity, circle back to the harder emotions and share those in a discerning way with someone you trust, or even your journal.