How a Science of Wholeness Can Change Leadership

As a university student, leadership trainer Joseph Jaworski was in his dorms in Texas when a tornado struck his university town. The storm itself was terrible and fearsome, but what happened afterwards transformed his perspective forever. In the midst of destruction and loss, he also saw the way in which people came together to work collectively. They cleared rubble and helped people in need. 

Even if you haven’t lived through a tornado, you still might relate to Joe’s experience. In the urgency of a crisis we sometimes experience synchronicity and flow, where the tracking of time is forgotten and the worries of normal life are put aside. These descriptions point to something deeper about human experience: Wholeness. Joe’s description speaks to a sense of wholeness that we can feel when we are expressing ourselves fully, when we are doing what we know we need to be doing, and when no part of ourselves is separated, left behind, or criticized.

What does wholeness look like?

To realize their aspirations, people need the sort of wholeness that Joe’s tornado brought. It doesn’t come from a tornado, though. It comes from inside ourselves.

We, all of us, are inherently smart, kind, compassionate, curious, dynamic, funny, and giving of ourselves. Sometimes it may not appear that way, but I wonder if that’s because the structures that we are working within steer us away from wholeness. 

In 2016 Pew Research found that 73% of Americans consider themselves lifelong learners. But according to the census, less than half (42%) have a college degree, and far fewer (13%) have a graduate degree.

Is there something about our educational institutions which leads half of self-described life-long learners to stop attending school after the age of 20?

In the crisis Joe faced, people spontaneously formed communication networks to help each other. Within these networks, I imagine that people were able to contribute in the way they felt most drawn to contribute. They were naturally curious and engaged, and each person was respected for what they brought to the table. 

This is wholeness. Do our schools invite this wholeness? Do our financial systems invite wholeness? Do our religious systems invite wholeness?

When people are not given equal access to information, they are kept back from wholeness.

When people are pressured to perfect their resume instead of developing their curiosity, they are kept back from wholeness.

When people are encouraged to think of themselves as consumers instead of seek pathways to reach great achievements, they are kept back from wholeness.

When people are punished for their past mistakes instead of reintegrated into their communities, they are kept back from wholeness.

If we can focus on creating structures that allow for and even design for wholeness, people will naturally be drawn to empower themselves. People are seeking to self-actualize. People are inherently motivated, brilliant, and productive when their wholeness is allowed to emerge. When we come from that stance, our relationships to each other and to our natural environment will be able to move toward sustainability.

How do we do this? We will build systems that produce wholeness in others when we ourselves come from a place of wholeness.

The science of wholeness

What is wholeness? An example from science and engineering can illustrate what I mean.

Holography is a photographic technique in which a three dimensional perspective is captured. This is in contrast to traditional photography in which we only see a single, flat perspective of a scene. As you move your face relative to the hologram, what you see changes as if the subject of the hologram was a real life object.

Imagine we are looking at a hologram of a city landscape. If you stand on the left and look at a specific point on the film, say, at the very center, you will see something there, maybe a tree. But if I look from the right at the same place on the film, I will see a different portion of the scene there, maybe a building. We are looking at the exact same point on the hologram, and we disagree on what we see. (In the cover image to this post, the little triangle is covering one building, but from a different angle it would cover a different building.)

The holographic film and the information developed on it represents the wholeness of reality, which can be viewed from different angles and provide unique information to each viewer. What the viewer sees depends on their particular stance relative to the film.

Current research indicates that our physical world may obey some of the same mathematics as this hologram. The wholeness of a hologram therefore gives us some insight as to why two people looking at the same thing can see something fundamentally different. We can both be looking at the same thing, but our personal context determines what we may see.

The hologram also illustrates how easy it is to think that we are just one thing, and forget all the other angles to ourselves. If I work with numbers for a living and see myself through a lens of logic and reason, I might not realize there are other angles from which I could access different parts of myself. I might discover more softness or creativity by changing my view of myself or my situation.

How do we do this? 

For wholeness, we need all voices to contribute, so that the various parts of the whole are informed by each other.

If our lack of wholeness is a byproduct of the systems we live within, how do we build economic, legal, religious, and social structures that produce wholeness?

This is a question I hope leaders will ask for decades to come. To facilitate such an exploration, one might consider these four strategies.

Listen

The first strategy is to listen. For wholeness, we need all voices to contribute, so that the various parts of the whole are informed by each other. 

The reason one sees three dimensionality when looking at a hologram is that the visible image is a result of the shared contributions of the entire hologram, rather than just a small region of pixels acting alone.

We, too, can be informed by each other. Instead of listening to try to change people or debate with them, we can practice listening to be transformed by them. If we sincerely seek to be more whole ourselves, we will sincerely seek alternate views to our own. We will revel in the experience of gaining a new sense of ourselves. When we seek wholeness, we listen to life with the intention of changing our own minds and, as a result, our world expands.

If we find ourselves listening and comparing each point or word choice to what we might have said instead, we are setting ourselves up to disagree. Sometimes I’ll argue with just one word choice when, in fact, I agree with someone’s main point! When I do, I find that the outcome is a lack of wholeness, where we don’t really feel the agreement that is there.

If instead we take in the points and the words that are being said and instead of analyzing them, we focus on what feeling or experience the person is trying to convey, our response may be a clarifying question or request for more information. This type of inquiry creates a felt sense of connection that simply does not occur when we are debating each other.

Many people have explored deep listening, including two of my favorites, David Bohm and Marshall Rosenberg. The practical benefit is that by listening with the intent of learning about others, we make it more likely that our own words will have the impact we intend.

Remain sincere

This brings us to the second suggestion, to remain sincere. By hearing the experience of others at face value, we trust that they are trying to be reasonable and are expressing what they genuinely feel needs to happen. Remaining sincere means to take people's suggestions at face value without layering our own judgements or opinions on top of it.

Now, can we trust everyone? Certainly not everyone can be trusted for everything at all times. But when we come from wholeness, we reject jadedness. Lean into your commitment to sincerity, and let it guide you. A person can either be trusted or not, but if you remain sincere, your business is with the whole of life, and not the individual parts.

Remaining sincere is a surprisingly powerful strategy for wholeness, because it helps us recover from mistakes and repair harm. When we realize we haven’t listened well, for instance, remembering to be sincere in our desire to repair things allows us to change direction. It gives us the freedom to not beat ourselves up, not defend our position, apologize if needed, and get right back to a listening stance.

Be a part of a cosmic whole

This leads into a third suggestion, to recognize and acknowledge that you are a part of a cosmic whole. 

When we look at a hologram, what we see is just one part of the whole information. So trust more in the whole than in the parts. When unexpected situations emerge out of the whole, reconsider your preconceived ideas about how the parts should come together. 

You might expect your best friend to give you a ride to the airport, but when the day comes their plans change and your neighbor steps in to help instead. So be prepared to let go of previous expectations (the parts) and be open to wherever the solution comes from (the whole). Let go of jadedness, like “I knew I couldn’t count on this person!” and return to a stance of sincerity.

Notice also when what is being suggested may hold benefits for you that you cannot yet see. We can’t really know exactly how things will unfold in the future. We live in what we call the “present moment”, which is just a part of the whole timeline of a given situation. By trusting in the whole timeline, we can be more resilient in the present moment. When a meeting is rescheduled or a business partner changes their stance on a negotiation, to lead from wholeness is to expect that there is an as-yet-unseen benefit to the change, and to embrace the unknown rather than hedge against it.

When we lead from wholeness we also sincerely seek to understand the impact of our actions on the whole. For instance, in today’s food distribution system, we think that the needs of the farmers have very little impact on the needs of the business executives. But as parts of a whole, the needs of farmers and executives affect each other in important ways. They share air, water, roadways, grocery stores, and even germs. Physical and mental well-being affects productivity, affects buy-in, and effects brand. To lead from wholeness is to account for these connections. 

In wholeness, justice is restorative not retributive, allowing a person or community to restore their wholeness. In wholeness, every plant in the garden receives the water it needs to thrive, and the wellness of the leaves is important to the wellness of the roots. When we see ourselves as part of a whole, even a cosmic whole, it broadens our options. We can still seek profits, or justice, or results, but we can only benefit by broadening our available views.

Take Bold Action

So we arrive at the final strategy, to take bold action. 

When we live from wholeness, bolder action becomes available to us.

In my life I have repeatedly come across fears that I won’t be enough or I won’t get enough. Making it through these crises of faith has led me to greater wholeness within myself. In finding that wholeness, I am less afraid of not being or having enough. 

Without fear, boldness then becomes the norm. We strive harder, we reach farther. From bold action, opportunities and synchronicities emerge to illuminate our next steps like fire given by the Titan Prometheus.

Every action we take has the potential either for narrowing or widening the gap of prejudice. Every word we express can potentially help to heal or cause further harm to another. Bold actions, such as going against a crowd for the sake of protecting someone vulnerable, can have a significant healing impact.

Yet the actions needed to minimize harm are often those that are the most unfamiliar to us. When our instinct is to clam up in a conversation, that may be the time to share from the heart. When our instinct is to explain and defend our position even further, that may be the time to listen more. 

Simply going against old habits and learning a new habit can be a bold action.

Closing

So coming from a place of wholeness fundamentally shifts our relationship to a situation, allowing us, as in the hologram, to appreciate different views without getting trapped in the differences.

An acquaintance of mine who is of the Christian faith recently explained to me the importance of wholeness in his tradition. If I don’t consider my leg an integral part of myself, then if my leg is broken it can just be removed. But because I consider the leg part of my whole being, my intention is going to be to heal the leg. Similarly, when we are in conflict with another person, if we are part of a single whole, then we cannot simply discard the relationship, but will seek instead to repair the relationship.

This approach to wholeness is a central aspect of many Indigenous cultures, to which we in the Western sciences are just beginning to catch up. This is what the hologram shows us about our shared reality.

Consider using these steps (listen, remain sincere, be a part of the cosmic whole, and take bold action) to become more aware of what it is that may block your wholeness. Think about a relationship or situation in which you feel tension. Do you have a bias which makes it hard to listen deeply? Are you exhausted or jaded by the situation? Do you feel isolated or disconnected from others? Are you afraid to take a step forward? Although wholeness looks different to each person and in each situation, this strategy for finding wholeness can provide a common map for many situations. When we engage from a place of wholeness, we create more inclusive outcomes.

Sometimes I am not aware of my bias, for instance when I watch the news. Sometimes I am not receptive to learning the impact my actions have on others, for instance when I debate with them on an issue. I shut my door a little more tightly, I’m a little less likely to turn the channel away from my preferred station, and my world shrinks.

I envision a world which is expanding. I’d rather live in harmony with people around me, aware of the limitations of my heritage and even a little bit insecure about what I know to be true, than be disconnected from the beautiful variety that human civilization has to offer. By leading from wholeness, we can deemphasize the structures in society which highlight our separateness, and encourage regenerative structures whose natural byproduct is wholeness. 

The strategies I’ve outlined can help us do this repair in the world. Let’s strive to hear each other’s stories and allow ourselves to be impacted. This is a pathway I am excited for, and I invite you to consider choosing whatever version of this path brings out wholeness in you!