We Are Each Other’s Badasses!
I've been thinking a lot about the way we’re welcomed into spaces in our Western culture. A “space” can be a social group, a field of inquiry, or a profession. What is our social environment like?
I find it interesting that, on one hand, teachers are in high demand, and it should be easy to get a job. But it’s not! It’s never easy to get a job. That was true when I first applied to be a teacher in 2001.
It wasn’t a huge ordeal, but I had to apply to five or six different schools, each of which I was a good match for. I know that’s not a big deal in the grand scheme, but at the time it was for me—it affected where I lived and so many aspects of my lifestyle for the next ten years. (Now, I understand it’s a whole different scale, and I sympathize!)
Any group or industry, no matter what type, is made up of people. What strikes me is the social hierarchy or network within each group. Whether you’re teaching workshops on Magic: The Gathering (like my college student classroom assistant Liam), applying for a teaching job, or trying to get a promotion at a banking firm, there’s always a structure to fit into—and it’s never easy.
We're Surrounded by Badasses All the Time!
At a deeper level, what I find both interesting and a little disturbing is the arrogance and overconfidence that we can encounter in any field. Just because a person has done XYZ in their particular field, doesn't mean they have any idea what other people have done! We’re all surrounded by badasses all the time! We are each other’s badasses, and if we took the time to get to know each other beneath the false confidence, I think we’d be pretty impressed.
One downside of this dynamic is that we don’t encourage each other enough. There’s so much competitiveness. It can be easy to assume the worst about someone, expecting not to like them or be unimpressed by them until proven otherwise. It’s as if we always have to work our way in the door, whether it’s a job, a community, or even a friendship.
There are some individuals in my life who aren’t like this. My wife is one of them, and I think it has to do with curiosity. Dana is always curious about what makes other people tick, so there’s never a sense of complete certainty. Her friend Glenda is similar, and from them I've seen how curiosity opens the door for connection.
I admit, this could be more about me and my personal interpretations, and maybe I'm just competitive! Maybe I create my own reality. I don’t think anyone’s intentionally gatekeeping at such a basic level. It's just that we take ourselves too seriously inside our own lane. Dealing with the personal or professional stresses of our immediate reality, we lose track of how it all fits into the bigger picture.
Step Out of Our Lane
That’s important because sometimes it would really help to step back and see the futility of our daily obsessions. When we’re successful in our niche—maybe we’re a great parent, a strong leader, top of our field, or just climbing the ladder—we should never forget how amazing everybody else is too. There’s no real way to compare what I do to what you do; no way to say one is more valuable than another. Without any of it, the world would suffer. We are that connected.
Can you believe that air traffic controllers were working for free because of the government shutdown?! I don’t know about you, but I’ve never consciously met an air traffic controller. That means I’ve certainly talked to them without knowing it—it can’t be such a rare job after all. (maybe you are one… let me know!)
I’m reminded to get out of my lane for a moment and recognize all the valuable contributions happening around me in every part of society. I invite us to cultivate a future that’s more welcoming to young people, more validating to people of all ages, and more aware of the incredible value each person brings. I’m quite sure, if I were stranded on a desert island for a month with no hope of contact, I’d be thrilled to see anybody, and I would make the most of our timely coexistence on Earth together.
