How my TED Talk came to be...
Pixels, Patterns And Perspectives
On a Friday in early January I came home from my new job teaching high school physics to an email saying "Speaker just canceled for TEDx Berkeley 2024."
It sounded like a positive, exciting email title, but I was caught off guard and didn't expect much. Sure enough, however, it was addressed to me from my friend Renee who does indeed run TEDx Berkeley. I had eight days to prepare.
I almost said no.
That day had ended my first semester teaching in 20 years. I would start a new semester, and a new class that I had never taught before, the following Wednesday. The timing was "horrible"; that was a good excuse to say no!
Then I thought about the physical tremors I've developed over the past couple years. Speaking at TEDx has been a dream goal of mine for many years, but again the timing was 'bad". I was self-conscious about my health and physical appearance. Another good excuse!
Deep down, though, I knew how much I wanted this.
I thought ahead into the future. If I said no, would I regret it? Probably.
I decided to trust. I trusted that there might be wisdom in the timing. If I was super busy, maybe I'd have less time to worry and try to be perfect. If I was awkward on stage, maybe I'd be able to get over myself in a new way.
It came to me through synchronicity, or divine timing maybe. If divine timing trusted me and encouraged me to step out in my vulnerability, then I trusted that.
Sometimes saying no is really just a way to protect ourselves from vulnerability.
After I said yes, I quickly realized how true that was! I was not a shoe in, as they say. I had to work for it. I had to expose myself and take risks
The first hurdle was having a phone call with Renee on Sunday. Because of my tremors, my voice is shaky, and I was nervous she would immediately say it wouldn't work. I just tried to be authentic, and I made it through that phone call on the strength of our friendship and professional history.
The next challenge was running through my full talk on Zoom with the three curators on Wednesday. Again, my visual appearance and my shaky voice made me nervous. When they interrupted me part way through, I tried not to get defensive. From what they said, they actually really liked my core message and my slides. They said my slides were the most beautiful of the whole group! Their advice was to stay true to that and cut out some of the extra stories, and I totally agreed!
They wanted to meet again on Thursday night with my new and improved presentation. This time I felt really good with my material, and walked away feeling ready for Saturday’s Big Show.
I got to the event at Zellerbach Hall early. As each speaker arrived, I focused on getting to know them, rather than rehearsing my lines.
I got into school teacher mode. Rather than worrying about how I would be perceived, I realized I was the only one who could present this message! I was practiced and I was ready. I tried to help other speakers stay calm. I served as an audience for one new speaker to practice. I got my mind off myself.
When my turn came, I simply delivered the message.
I hope the information speaks for itself. Watch here.
“As you make choices in your life, the meaning of every story that you carry can change as you take risks and try new things.”
I'm really proud of myself for saying yes. And I know that some of you will be impacted by this talk, and say yes to something in your life, and that will inspire someone else to say yes to something in their life.
I say, the more ourselves we can be, the better!