When love is hidden
Synchronicity: A Theory of Interactions, part 1
The concept of Maya in ancient Indian culture seems to align with the idea of entropy in physics.
Maya is the idea that there are hidden aspects to reality behind the experiences we perceive with our senses. but what could be hidden underneath?
In physics, entropy is used to describe information that is inaccessible to us, essentially hidden from our experiment. It is a count of all the different ways reality could really be, given what we observed in the experiment.
Judged or loved?
Did you ever wonder, in the middle of a conversation, what the other person is thinking or feeling? Have you guessed based on what their words and body language conveyed?
This is what I mean by trying to gauge what's really happening from the evidence you have. This is like entropy, which asks "How many different versions of reality can there be, given our observations of it?"
I had an experience of this last year where I couldn't tell whether I was being judged or loved by my teacher.
I started taking Aikido classes again after a 40-year break. I love the community at my new Dojo, and my teacher (or Sensei) is welcoming, gentle, and kind. Still, I feel very unskilled at Aikido practice, and in the beginning my ego was getting in the way a lot.
During one class the teacher said to practice a technique with a partner. Each person was to do it four times before switching. However, my partner felt nervous about trying the technique herself. She asked me privately if we could skip her turn, so when the Sensei told us to switch, we didn't.
Sensei noticed, and said to me from across the room, “Sky, it's time to switch.” In that moment I felt misunderstood, ashamed, and angry. I continued practicing but felt inner turmoil for the rest of class.
Later I asked Sensei for a private word, hoping I could repair our connection. She stopped, smiled, and said sure. But as I began to speak, she looked down at my belt and began to correct the knot. She said "You should practice tying it at home, I can send you some videos."
Ugh! I cringed inside, feeling small and insecure.
Hidden information
I reacted strongly to both of these interactions with my Sensei because I felt ashamed. But when I thought about it a little bit more, I could see that the teacher probably felt love and appreciation for me, not judgment. I had misinterpreted her critique as a sign that she didn't like me, but I've seen how much she cares about her students.
It seems like we frequently miss the hidden ways in which people care about us. There's a layer of hidden information, things not said explicitly, interpretations we make, or feelings which manifest themselves in cryptic ways. Sensei’s care for me manifested as a correction to my technique, but in that moment I responded to it like an attack.
Recognize the moment
The physics of synchronicity is really a theory of interactions. The next several blog posts will outline this theory, which was presented at Burning Man in 2023.
It starts with an understanding that our perceptions are limited. Much of the world is hidden from us, such as what other people are feeling or thinking, and all the circumstances around us that could unfold in unforeseen ways.
Experiencing synchronicity is really an act of recognition.
In moments of synchronicity, we're recognizing a wider context, a deeper connection, a hidden reality. We're noticing how somebody really feels about something. Or we're noticing circumstances bigger than us that we hadn't been aware of.
When I realized that I was indeed respected, valued, and loved in Aikido class, it was a moment of recognition, a moment of synchronicity. Maya told me I was under attack. I exposed what was hidden beneath Maya, and saw the world differently.
Each interaction has this potential. It is the potential to decrease pain and increase positive connections with our surroundings. We do this by piercing the filters or layers of illusion between us and what is really happening.
Welcome to a Leap to Wholeness
We are starting a new series of social media posts around my second book, Leap to Wholeness, How the World is Programmed to Help Us Grow, Heal, and Adapt. One of the big themes in the book is identifying the filters that color the way we look at the world and ourselves. When we can identify a filter or belief we have, without trying to change it, we naturally start to see it better and it's easier to see beyond it. I offer this as a way of healing our old patterns of behavior.