Synchronicities can accelerate learning
When the need for healing shows up in life...
Recently I was playing the Game of Life with my daughter. It’s a classic board game in which you travel through the phases of life in a little colored car, picking up experiences, money and a family as you go.
A crucial moment occurred, where our emotions got activated. She needed to pay money to the “bank”, and I thought she was doing it wrong. She would end up owing too much money, and I felt bad for her. I wanted to help her get it right, so I got involved helping her untangle her reasoning. Instead, we became entangled together, and a familiar pattern of twisted emotions emerged. I was confused, irritated, and upset.
In the moment, I was trying to be awake to my patterns of response, yet against my greatest efforts, habit prevailed. There is an exercise I have developed in the Living in Flow Course which allows me to untangle this pattern, so I walked through it in my mind.
This is called “Synchronicity as a process of healing”.
First, I ask myself what my hidden feeling is. In this case, worry that my daughter will be unhappy.
So then, what is my unconscious reaction? I step in to try to “teach” her something.
How does my reaction intensify the dynamic? The dynamic is that she feels criticized and disempowered, and every time I try to save her from a difficult experience I create this same dynamic.
What, in me, would like to be healed from this situation? I want to feel like I can handle it if she is unhappy.
What types of circumstances would assist me in having that experience? It would be helpful to have experiences where I see her having a difficult emotion but I don’t get involved trying to fix it, and I see her come out happier or stronger from it.
My job is to look out for repeated versions of this type of situation. Synchronicities often occur to facilitate some emotional growth that we need. Once I recognize the growth I am after I feel confident that a meaningful situation will arise which gives me a chance to practice.
Look out for the next opportunity
Sure enough, the next day the opportunity emerged again. When we started again to play the Game of Life, I was on alert. I wanted to be ready for the crucial moment when our mutual safety was threatened by habitual emotional patterns. Sure enough, the opportunity emerged.
She was owed “salary” by the bank, and as I handed her the money she wanted to complicate the transaction by giving me some surplus cash and receiving larger bills in exchange. A standard transaction, but I thought she was doing it wrong. I felt irritation appear in my body, and responded carefully. “Let’s slow down, and please explain to me what you need here.”
I listened carefully as she explained her reasoning on the transaction. I understood what she was saying and realized that she was right. We completed the transaction and went back to the game.
Breaking the cycle
Within 24 hours of identifying the this growth edge, an opportunity emerged to heal an emotional pattern I was holding on to. I became more able to accept her unhappiness, and actually found that I was the one creating the difficulties. By treating life as a theater for learning, things change rapidly. Old patterns have a chance to resolve.
This is why I developed the Living in Flow Course. If you want more tools to help you see old patterns in your life and recognize how your own choices are bringing about synchronicities which perpetuate the patterns, you can sign up or learn more about it here.